When God talks to his Son, reflecting on the Park County Board of Commissioners invoking an invocation
Oh, Heavenly Father, we ask that you guide the Park County Board of Commissioners’ deliberations from this day, February 7, 2023, forward. Please mark your calendar, God, for the first, third, and fourth Tuesdays of every month and sometimes the second Tuesdays. We ask this through Commission Chair Amy Mitchell, Lord, and her sidekick Commissioner Dave Wissel.
God, He of the OLD Testament, ordered the pearly gates to be opened to better see the deliberations in Fairplay. His Son, he of the NEW Testament, streamed the event via Zoom. Finally, the Park County Board of County Commissioner’s work session arrived at the last item on the agenda: Discussion related to including an invocation to the quasi-judicial meetings.
“Why,” the Son said over his shoulder, “do they think they have to invoke us? They’re Christians. Right? I mean, don’t they know we’re always there? Your eye, Father, is even on the sparrow.”
“Hush,” God said, “Elsner’s speaking.”
Commissioner Elsner: “This needs to be left to each person’s conscience.”
“Exactly,” the Son effused. “Matthew said it, Father.”
“Yes, he did. Can you bring up his 6th Chapter on that device?”
“It’s a computer, Father,” the Son said, searching Google. “Here it is: ‘And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”
The Father nodded. “That’s it. Now, scoot over, Son,” God said, motioning with his arm. “I want to see Wissel.”
“Geesh,” the Son said, repositioning himself. “You know he’s just going to talk about himself. As if his life experience is reflective of anything other than his ego.”
“I know, I know,” God said.
Commissioner Dave Wissel: 1) Raised by evangelicals but now attends Catholic shindigs and enjoys singing hymns. 2) Seeks guidance from a higher power. 3) Believes society is erasing Judeo-Christian history. 4) Wants to return to “regular order” and “tradition.” 5) The “China Virus” brought the scourge of Zoom to our lives. 6) Won’t change his mind because of an invocation. 7) What we need is the “bestest for the mostest.”
“Wow,” the Son said. “Did you hear that? ‘Bestest for the mostest.’ What does that mean, Father?”
“Hell, if I know. I do like the regular order and tradition thing, though. Used to love to smite and smote the infidels.”
“And,” the Son continued, “Father, that Judeo-Christian thing came from bombastic politicians and preachers in the ‘50s to combat the Commies during the Cold War. Jews were never treated that nicely in America. And did you hear him say an invocation wouldn’t change his mind?”
“Yes, Son, I did. Makes you wonder, then, if he’s really seeking guidance from Us or just whistling Dixie. Quiet now. Mitchell is speaking.”
Commissioner Chair Amy Mitchell: 1) A higher power needs to help us with our decisions. 2) Invocations provide calmness and peace and good order to meetings. 3) Not talking about religion, but a higher power.
“Some people believe their higher power is starting their chainsaw with one pull, Father. Where do we fit in if she’s not talking about religion?”
“Son, a politician’s forte is the gaslight,” God said. “There’s that Steve fellow. Let’s see what he’s got to say.”
Steve: 1) God is in the Pledge of Allegiance. 2) 20 people in Bailey signed a letter of support for invocations. 4) People of Bailey are the silent majority.
“Father, wasn’t the guy who came up with the pledge of allegiance a socialist minister or some kid from Kansas who the preacher stole it from in 1890 or 1892? It wasn’t until 1954 that your name, God, was added to the pledge. And 20 people in Bailey? The silent majority?”
“Calm down, Son. Steve’s just caught up in his own perception of truth. Now Mike is speaking.”
Mike: 1) Wisdom to found the nation came from prayer. 2) We need to get our wisdom from somewhere. 3) Hindus or Muslims in Park County? 4) We wouldn’t have a nation unless James Madison agreed to insert a Bill of Rights into the Constitution.
The Son is frantically Googling. “Father, here it is. James Madison’s 1789 proposal for the establishment clause. ‘The civil rights of none shall be abridged on account of religious belief or worship, nor shall any national religion be established, nor shall the full and equal rights of conscience be in any manner, or on any pretext infringed.’ And, Father, are there only Christians in Park County? And the wisdom of prayer was why the nation was formed. Took a lot more than prayer to do that!”
“Son, Christian posturing is sometimes like the peacock, spreading the tail and strutting for the show of it.”
“Oh look, Father, it’s the Outsider lady.”
The Outsider Lady: 1) Looked up the definition of invocation online: Prayer request for the spiritual presence of God. 2) We need guidance in this day and age. 3) She would be happy to lead the invocation.
“Wow, Wissel must be gnashing his teeth,” the Son said. “Even she’s on Zoom. And she even got an online definition of the word. But, like I said, Father, if they’re Christians, why do they have to pray for Our presence? And what you said about the peacock? Yeah, I bet she’d love to provide the invocation.”
“It is what it is, Son.”
“’It is what it is? But, what does that mean, Father?”
“Hell, if I know, Son.”
